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| the fragments of thought,
broken shards, razors edge
this vase, sanity
where have the flowers gone?
cuts scrapes and wounds,
the crimson pump rages
strength wanes
a collection of desolation
ponds form a lake
a torrent of the past
damn, it'll burst
its all coming out
destruction's seeds sown
barren, devoid
a budding creeps slowly
the flowers seek
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| WTF fedex
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Sep 13, 2008 |
2:38 AM |
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Departed FedEx location
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TOLEDO, OH |
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12:49 AM |
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Arrived at FedEx location
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TOLEDO, OH |
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Sep 12, 2008 |
8:49 PM |
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Departed FedEx location
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LANSING, MI |
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4:53 PM |
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Arrived at FedEx location
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LANSING, MI |
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4:56 AM |
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At local FedEx facility
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LANSING, MI |
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Sep 11, 2008 |
11:28 PM |
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Departed FedEx location
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TOLEDO, OH |
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10:47 PM |
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Arrived at FedEx location
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TOLEDO, OH |
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12:53 PM |
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Departed FedEx location
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CHICAGO, IL |
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5:22 AM |
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Arrived at FedEx location
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CHICAGO, IL |
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Sep 10, 2008 |
10:55 PM |
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Left FedEx origin facility
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GREEN BAY, WI |
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6:25 PM |
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Arrived at FedEx location
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GREEN BAY, WI |
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3:43 PM |
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Picked up
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GREEN BAY, WI |
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12:42 PM |
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Package data transmitted to FedEx
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how dumb can you be???
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| Of late, i've been doing a lot of reading. and i think the most profound thing to me is this.
in my life to date, i have always believed that actions speak louder than words.
you can tell me you love cycling all you want, until you've swallowed a pound of gnats i would've thought you psychotic or hypocritical.
and for the most part, it worked out quite well, it was a great system to filter people out in this world. this entire line of reasoning stemming from my belief that doing something requires effort, while stating something really didn't. so to do something was a commitment and was thus quantifiable as a characteristic and something tangible to critique people.
but this almost all goes against a tenant of my christian belief, that we are sinners saved by grace, and that our ticket into heaven cannot be bought on work. and that we are judged on our hearts.
so how does one remedy this paradox?
a part of me wants to believe that because this is a fallen world, that it cannot be helped that judging people on their actions is the only means of separating people and necessary to keep social order
so what does that other part believe?
it doesn't know what to believe, it keeps thinking WWJD WWJD!?!?
any thoughts would be appreciated
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| Its been a long time, but i feel as though, i'm finally ready to return to the world of punctuation, and thoughts that finish, no more run on sentences.
I'll begin by saying i've had a wonderful summer, filled with adventures, beauty, family and friends. In fact, it has been the most humbling summer i've had in a while. And when i say humbling i don't mean not fun, i mean... well i hope to figure out what i mean before i hit submit.
Anyways, i've recently had conversations that lead me to believe that i infact have not grown at all.
I'll explain, recently i went to a church retreat with the youth that
i've been helping. The retreat consisted mostly of people in high
school. it wasn't until there was a game in which each team had to
protect their captain (councilor) that i realized that i... i still
could pass for a high schooler. my fellow captains were drenched in
water, while i remained completely dry. i don't think anyone realized i
was a councilor, because i looked like everyone else.... Later on,
while playing pool with the kids, i think i shocked quite a few campers
by dropping the fact that i was 22... i got the unanimous consensious
of being 17 or 18, 19 at most. So physically have i grown since i was 17?.... not really....
Next is the fact that i realized that i still play starcraft, i still
enjoy cartoons, and still detest vegtables (my mother will still force
them onto my plate). And girls... well i'm still afraid of them. So maturity....fail
So lastly, have i grown emotionally...
I don't quite know. Xanga to me has been but a sounding board, a place where i could reflect about my life without having to spell things out. a kind of emotional record for me. So from that statement, i would say that no i haven't grown emotionally, 80 percent of the posts are about a girl, 15% are about me, and the other 5% well they are just observations. (Surprise i'm sure no one who has suffered through my xanga would've guessed that)
i'll say yes, because admission to that fact was one step forward.
hello grammar...we still are not friends
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| the paths that lay ahead i know not of their destination
i see things that i cannot comprehend
i feel things that i know not of
i dream of you
what this all means is a mystery
an enigma, a puzzle waiting to be solved
i know where i stand
i not must find you
i see a building, made of glass
they say those who live in glass houses mustn't throw stones
we carry bats
what are we to do?
this path i am to embark upon leads to nothing
but anguish and pain
this path i embark upon
will lead me away from you
this path.....
the steams that flows
it does not stop
it is the true essence
unadulterated, the truth
how do i say these things to you
to swallow my pride and say
that without a doubt i am sure
i cannot fathom this existence
i wonder sometimes what is faith
what is conviction
what are we
how do i progress?
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